The “Only” Becomes the “Big”

The “Only” Becomes the “Big”

As some may know, my husband and I are expecting our second baby this summer. Having already been blessed with a beautiful, intelligent, funny, perfect, oh and did I say beautiful little girl two years ago (end bragging) we already know that we are pretty good at making babies at this point.

Being a parent of one has been pretty great so far. Our little lady gets plenty of affection, and she never has to fight for the attention in a room. However, this instant gratification has turned almost problematic for our little family as our daughter has become quite demanding and insistent on getting her own way. Now this also comes with the territory of turning 2, but still we thought what better time than now to give her a younger sibling.

Siblings are a great way to teach your oldest child patience, the importance of sharing, kindness towards others and of course they’re great for learning how to wait your turn. This will be something I know my daughter will struggle with, because since I am a stay at home mom she pretty much has command of the attention 24/7 in our house. But I sincerely believe that having a younger sibling will be a great learning experience for my child and will help her to understand how the world really works.  

Up until this point we have always been referencing the baby as “little brother or sister” because we do not know what the gender is just yet. I have spent a great deal of time weighing both options and cannot bring myself to any sort of conclusion on what my preference is. Now for everyone who has not been pregnant before or for those who let out a gasp of horror at my use of the word “preference,” every pregnant woman is completely entitled to have a preference. It is not mean or ungrateful towards the other sex, it’s just how we feel at a given moment and what we would like to have pop out of our bodies. That absolutely does not mean that we would be upset or unhappy with discovering the child is not the gender we had hoped it would be because although gender may appear to be of great importance, a healthy baby is the ultimate goal.

Personally when I think about having a boy, I get extremely excited and a little bit sad, but to be fair when I think about having another girl I also get extremely excited followed by a little bit sad. Allow me walk you through the potentially crazy pregnancy thought process surrounding these conclusions:

This is very likely going to be our last child, so if we have a girl I’ll be a little bit sad that I didn’t ever get to have a boy. But a huge part of me wants to have two girls! Having sisters grow up and be best friends and experience life together (yes I do realize that it’s hardly ever picture perfect and sisters can fight like cats and dogs bla bla bla, but that’s not how my visions are going right now). I think that having two girls would be magical.

Now if we end up having a boy I will be thrilled because we have one of each! The million dollar family! My husband gets his NHL prospect and I get my own little mama’s boy. But then I don’t get to reuse any of the exceptionally cute girl clothing that I’ve been saving from my daughter. And I don’t get to see my two little girls grow up braiding each other’s hair and swapping outfits and makeup. See how I can be happy or sad either way? Again I bring you back to the pregnant woman’s prerogative of feeling however she wants about the gender.

When we do eventually find out the sex of our little bundle I know that I will be exceptionally thrilled, and a tiny bit sad, no matter what the outcome. I know that this little bundle will be the perfect addition to our family and that our daughter will be excited to have a baby in the house. It is time for the only child to become the big sister! And believe me, she’s ready.


Faith Murray is a stay-at-home Mom and former law clerk from Ottawa, ON. Her passions include country music and beating her husband at Scrabble.

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