**Warning. This article contains first-hand experiences of how yucky and nasty tiny children can really be. But it’s the cold hard truth folks! Readers be warned**
As a parent you are often tested. Tested in ways you didn’t know were possible until you have embarked on the journey of parenthood. You are tested physically, emotionally, and financially. Your patience is tested daily and yes, your gag reflexes are also regularly tested.
Here are what I personally consider the top five most disgusting things that you do for your child without question.
1- Pick their nose
You may think to yourself “Gross, I would never pick another person’s nose.” But when your child is stuffed up and you see the big boogies responsible for their breathing troubles, you don’t think twice as a parent. You reach in pick those boogies and relieve your child’s stuffy nose. And five minutes later you may need to do the same thing. But when you see the size of the boogies you remove from your child’s nose you become happy knowing that their breathing is no longer obstructed. Parent boogie picking win.
2- You allow them to vomit on you
There is nothing worse than your child being sick. As adults we generally want to be alone while throwing up, but babies need you more than ever when they’re sick. If your baby is throwing up but is clutching you for dear life out of fear of the situation, then you let them do so. You know that puke on your clothing, in your hair and down your shirt is a small price to pay for your baby’s comfort during a tough time.
3- You clean up poop. Constantly.
From the day they are born and on into older years (hopefully not significantly older years) you wipe your baby’s bum. An astonishing amount of poop comes out of your child on a daily basis. And in diaper years, truth be told, it doesn’t always stay in the diaper. Which presents a whole new cleaning experience. As they get older and potty train, don’t think you are off of poop cleaning duty because you certainly are not. But the very last thing you want for your child is to be sitting in a messy diaper, or walking around with an unclean tooshie. So we, as parents, roll up our sleeves and dive in.
4- Clean their snot with your hands (or your clothes)
A runny nose is just part of being a kid. Whether the child is teething or has a slight cold, the snot seems to flow like a tap. Sometimes, especially while in public, it becomes necessary to wipe their nose. However if you do not have a tissue or something that resembles a tissue, you do what you have to do; and that is use your own hands or even your own clothes. That’s right people, parenting is all about sacrifice and it’s something every parent has to accept at one point in time.
5- Pre-chew food in public
Picture this, you have a baby who is just being introduced to new foods and who isn’t all that great at chewing yet. You are out for dinner with the family and you really want your baby to try some of your steamed vegetables, so you chew up a bunch and take it from your mouth and deliver it directly to your baby’s mouth. Onlookers may perceive this as gross, but to you, you are simply feeding your child. Personally I don’t view this as gross, but if you think of it in context of any other human being, would you really pre-chew their food for them? Your mom? Your spouse? Your best friend? Likely no. But for your baby you have absolutely no problem gnawing food down to make it easier for their little mouths to handle.
Parenting is a rewarding, challenging and at times absolutely disgusting ride. It’s a ride that personally I chose to be on and couldn’t be happier with my decision, regardless of how gross parts of it have been. I’m sure I haven’t even seen the half of it yet, but that’s what Lysol, laundry, and hand soap are for!